Fitting in

Do you ever feel like you don't fit in? Lately I don't fit in my jeans, my shoes or my gym. haha. Jordan and I recently started going to Golds Gym. In January his work bought us gym memberships there and we put them on hold while we still had our Rec Center pass. Goodness there is a huge difference between the two gyms! We love that Golds is so close. I even finished before Jordan this morning, because my belly gave me strict instructions to stop, so I walked home. It was very nice. What isn't nice is that no one there wears clothes. If they do, they are painted on. Also, who has the energy to do their hair and make up before a 6 am workout? I find it pretty silly. It makes me very uncomfortable, but I think I will get used to it. It is funny that as the days go on I have started to have thoughts about wearing tank tops or booty shorts to work out in. Nobody wants to see my pregnant body like that. If you wear shorts and tank tops to the gym, please don't feel like I am judging you! Everyone should work out in what they feel comfortable in. I just decided a long time ago that I can work out in pants and a T-shirt and that makes me feel most comfortable. I need to remind myself that it isn't always good to fit in. I don't need to show off my newly acquired cleavage just because every one around me is. Below are some pictures of me not fitting in my jeans anymore:) This baby is actively taking up as much space as possible. I am constantly hungry and my lungs are angry that they don't have room to expand like they used to.

October update

Life has been going by so fast! We are in love with the Fall.

This month I got a new co-worker. Usually that isn't exciting news, but in my office there are 6 people and I was the youngest by 20+ years before Madison got hired. It has been so fun to have someone to talk to when we aren't busy explaining that not all rice from China is contaminated. Stupid Dr. Oz. Your advice makes many people irrational. Work is a joy and I look forward to going most days:)

Jordan's job is equally great. He is still doing double duty because his promotion hasn't gone through. He is a supervisor and an "undercover manager" :) He does a lot of managerial work because there is so much that needs to be done, but he is waiting for the title and pay raise. Hopefully by Christmas. Who knows! He is liking his classes, but his Physiology teacher sure knows how to write tough tests. He is a smart cookie and I'm sure he will pass, if not he will take it again from a more reasonable teacher.



We sure love Ragnar, Jordan's parents bird. He sings to us, nuzzles us and even lets us pet him without biting once in a while. He also poops, which is his major defect.

The pregnancy is going great! I am blessed to have an easier pregnancy. I am not in the hospital or taking any prescriptions. Complaining is still an often occurrence, however, and Jordan puts up with it:) Pregnancy just isn't fun sometimes! Our little man is growing very well. Our Dr. has given us plenty of stress with some "abnormalities" that showed up on the ultrasound. Most of them are cleared up, but others will take 6 weeks to see if there is any progress. I am confident that everything will be great and our technology is so good now that they see things they can't explain and are obligated to check them out. I am not allowing myself to worry, but I have had TMJ ever since so maybe I am clenching my jaw and stressing in my sleep, haha. Jordan just jokes that I must be clenching my jaw to make sure I don't sleep with my mouth open. (I have a pet peeve of people who have there mouth just hanging open all the time.)

We are looking forward to the holidays. We are spending Thanksgiving in Fillmore and Christmas in Orem. It is such a fun season! I just wish our roads were heated and I didn't hyperventilate at the thought of driving on icy roads. I guess I can test out my hypnobirthing skills on my daily winter drives.

As my most loyal customer always tells me, "Christ the Lord Jesus is your savior and I hope you have a blessed day!" He is a reverend, and when he isn't arguing with me he is a real pleasure.

You can spend your whole life learning, and still be an idiot.

I absolutely love to learn! My job is fantastic because I learn all day long. I have realized lately that even though you have a degree, even a PhD, and still have so much to learn. I know that what the scriptures say is true, in that the learning we do in this life will benefit us greatly in the next. Sometimes, though, it is hard to be motivated to keep going!

Health is one of those subjects that is quite subjective. You can find endless opinions about Vitamin D alone. (I know this because I have been studying about that since 10 this morning.) There is no way I will ever know it all. NOBODY DOES! The key is to admit you are clueless, study the best you can, check your resources, and realize that God never intended us to know it all in this life. I KNOW that we have all the tools we need in the scriptures. When I get flustered and wonder if I need to check my D 25 OH levels every week to assure I'm not going to be experiencing 100 things related to D-3 deficiency......I take a breath and remember that God told us to do everything in moderation. I am aware of my health and proactively seek to improve it. I do not need to spend all my energy coming up with a diet and exercise plan, I need to listen to my body and the ques it gives me. If I am lacking D-3 I would probably crave milk, sunshine and salmon. Our bodies are so magnificent. I for one am going to pray extra long today expressing gratitude that my body is perfect. It doesn't belong in a magazine, but it is doing a killer job and growing a baby. Millions of things are going on right now to help me to survive and I don't have to be an expert in any of those things for them to happen. 

It is a miracle. Life is a miracle. 

Life Lately

Life is busy and even though I sit at a computer for 8 hours a day at work, I rarely succeed at this blog business.

Pregnancy is going wonderfully. I do have constant headaches, every day. By the evening they usually get so bad that I say curse words when I stand up. Usually only in my head. I suspect that they come from my naturally low blood pressure which is even lower with this little baby growing. There is little I can do about that. I do crave salty things, especially chips, like a crazy person. I often give in to those cravings. Today it was spicy cheez-its.

We found out that our baby is coming with boy parts! It was a great experience. We had an ultrasound at 8:30am. We got in really quick. The woman was having a hard time getting the little guy to uncross his legs, but after a minute or so she started calling it a him. Jordan lit up and told her, "You keep saying his. Are you keeping something from me?" She laughed and claimed she didn't know yet. 30 seconds later she said just kidding, I knew it was a boy! And she showed us a clear shot of his parts. Jordan shot a fist in the air and gave a happy shout. I was just happy to see a heart beat and two kicking legs. I forgot to count the arms, but I am pretty sure there were two of those, too.

I found out Sunday that Jordan is completely serious about the names he has been suggesting. Let us just say we are on different pages name wise. I am on the "Mac, Samuel, Reuben" page and he is on the "Ragnar, Raphael, Gabriel" page. Somehow we will meet in the middle and I will try to be more open to suggestions that aren't my own.

There are many happy things going on. I have felt a lot more rested this week. Maybe that is because I sleep 10 hours each night, and more like 12 on weekends. BUT during my awake time I have felt very energetic. As long as I take my Unisom and B6 I don't have any of the queezies and my sisters gave me the best stash of maternity clothes. I am trying to buy a few things here and there to build up the stock for Kara's next pregnancy. Hopefully soon because she makes great babies.

I am praying for more months of complication free pregnancy. Extra prayers are always welcome!

Funny convo with J to end the post:

Jamie:Give me a score prediction for the BYU game tonight.

Jordan: Who do they play?

Jamie: Houston Cougars

Jordan: 34-10

Jamie: I'm stealing it.

Jordan: WHAT?!

Jamie: We have to make predictions at work.

Jordan: I put a patent on that.

Jamie: Too late. I wrote it down on the sheet.

Jordan: How do you sleep with yourself at night?

Jamie: With one knee poked at you to protect my side. 

Pregnancy! & My Personal Opinions about Family.

Jordan and I could not be more excited about our pregnancy! I am hoping to be a little more dedicated to blogging throughout the process. I think it will be a good place for me to journal about each stage, so that when I'm every thinking of signing up to grow a baby again, I remember how I felt this time;)



1. The above picture is the morning we found out we were pregnant. A little TMI may be involved in these posts, so proceed with discretion. We had decided to stop taking birth control pills mid May. I know some people try to get that out of their system for a while before trying, but we prayed and felt good about trying right away. I had been feeling symptoms all month, but wouldn't let myself take a pregnancy test until the day I would have started my next cycle. After all, I am a hypochondriac. I could convince myself that I am sick in an instant. The night before taking the test I read the instructions and it said "Recommended to take with first morning urine." I, of course, woke up at 5am and couldn't hold it. I took the test and had thought I would wait to look at it until J woke up at 6:30, but then I read, "Do not read after 10 minutes." UGH! So I watched it instantly turn to two lines and had to wait over an hour to tell the husband. He was so sleepy as I tried to show him a picture of the test on my phone. He was squinting and trying so hard to focus, but it took him a good minute to figure everything out.



2. We were both SO excited and decided to wait and tell his family the next Sunday (Father's Day) and tell my family when they would all be visiting in about two weeks. The above picture is me at 6 weeks. I told my sister, Kara, first because she is in Texas and wouldn't be there with everyone. It so fun to tell everyone! I love that everyone in my life is so supportive and giving. This will be the first grandchild on Jordan's side, and you can bet that my mother-in-law is beyond happy about it.







3. This is a picture of me yesterday, at 7 weeks. I don't feel as though I'm "showing" at all, but I do feel that I am thickening. This could be because I have to constantly eat or I get pretty nauseated. Being nauseated and tired are my two main symptoms. I also have had a headache for weeks now. I have found myself getting irritated pretty easily, but J just puts up with me. It's funny, at any moment if I don't feel sick, I worry that the baby is going to miscarry. It only takes a few minutes for the sick feelings to return, though. I guess that is a blessing in disguise.




4. Recently J and I were called to be teachers in the CTR 5 primary class. We have been loving it. They have been working on the song, "The Family is of God" for the few weeks we have been in. Can I just say how much I love that song? I find myself singing it in my dreams, as I fall asleep, in the shower, basically all day. You should hear the kids in my class scream the chorus. I did a lot of thinking about this song last night when I was too sick to sleep. I believe that families are central to God's plan. He has told us through prophets that "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. " Could you imagine what our world would be like if that were to happen? The Proclamation to the World also talks about the need for loving and nurturing parents. I often feel inadequate when I consider becoming a mother. This simple song has helped me to realize that I am striving to follow God's plan of happiness. That is really all that I can do. I believe that I am doing what I can to give my children the things they deserve. Now, if only I could convince Jordan that Ragnar, Jordanson, Raphael, ect are not acceptable names, our unborn baby would have it good;)


Below are the words:


1. Our Father has a family. It’s me!
It’s you, all others too: we are His children.
He sent each one of us to earth, through birth,
To live and learn here in fam’lies.


2. A father’s place is to preside, provide,
To love and teach the gospel to his children.
A father leads in fam’ly prayer to share
Their love for Father in Heaven.


3. A mother’s purpose is to care, prepare,
To nurture and to strengthen all her children.
She teaches children to obey, to pray,
To love and serve in the fam’ly.


4. I’ll love and serve my family and be
A good example to each fam’ly member.
And when I am a mom or dad, so glad,
I’ll help my fam’ly remember:


[Chorus]
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—
This is how He shares His love, for the fam’ly is of God.

Home Tour!

As many of you know we recently bought a house. We have been absolutely loving it! I decided to do a quick tour but then that quick tour turned into like 10 minutes so you don't have to watch it but if you're interested it is here.

Jordan and I both feel very blessed to be here. I could have never imagined having such a beautiful space to live.

It isn't much, to some, but hopefully we can maintain a home where the Spirit will reside and we can raise a family here in the future.

We have been blessed by God and I couldn't be more grateful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhatx725Reg

I'm a BIG pretender

Have you ever heard the phrase, "fake it til' you make it"? I don't like it. To me, it has a negative connotation that you aren't being yourself. I do, however, love the meaning of the phrase. I feel like I have been mastering it lately. I think my entire life I have been over-confident in my abilities. There really isn't a challenge I am not willing to take (unless you consider a roller coaster a challenge). I think my mom is the only one who really grasps how extreme this is for me. I even convince myself that I am capable of crazy things. She always reminded me as I was growing up, that I had unrealistic expectations of myself. Now that I'm married, nobody does this for me. Jordan just assumes I know what I am doing, lol.

For the past few months I have had many roles including: Real-estate agent, as I created, edited, and submitted our contract to buy our home. Plumber, when our shower and toilets were acting funny. Landscaper, when our back yard needed some bark put down. Seamstress, making curtains and recovering chairs. Electrician, replacing a florescent light where I used a $5 track light I found at the DI which meant I had to make my own mounting bracket. Ect Ect. I had no idea how to do any of these things when I began the task.

This list is only the start, but you get the picture. It seems to be all about our new home right now, but I actually pretend to be a lot of things. I pretend to be a good wife, teacher, employee, friend ect. I feel like I never have all of the traits I need to accomplish something worth while. I do all that I can to reach my goals, and try to be persistent when things don't go my way or when I make a mistake. I have my days where I get too easily irritated at Jordan and am not a good wife, but the next day I start being a big pretender again. As I pretend, I learn and I stop having to pretend. I believe this is because Heavenly Father blesses us as we try. If we do all we can, and pretend as best we can to have good traits, we will eventually develop them.

Don't misunderstand, I know that my good traits don't even compare to those of others. Luckily, we are judged individually. Comparison steals our joy and I am trying to stop the thief.

Here is a picture of my recent project. I forgot to take a before picture, but it looked a lot like this florescent light, with a nice big crack on one side.

And after...

All it needs now is a few light bulbs. They are crazy expensive, so I ordered them on Amazon with a gift card we had. In a perfect world, all four bulbs in a fixture you buy at the DI would not be burnt out:) 1 out of 4 isn't the worst case scenario, at least. 

I hope you all are having a great day!

Jamie

We're buying a house!

We're buying a town house, which has been in the works for about a month now. We should close before May 1st:) I am so anxious to move in. I have been doing projects and daydreaming nearly non stop. The home is in American Fork and honestly, we weren't even ready to start looking when we decided to buy. The opportunity came so quickly and the spirit told Jordan and I so strongly that it was right. Interest rates are on the rise, so it feels nice to have a locked rate and a knowledge that this is where we will call home. The house has 4 bedrooms, and 3 and 1/2 bathrooms. It is more than enough space for us, so all of you who want to come visit, come! Maybe one of you will actually eat my cookies. They just put in new carpet on the main floor (3 finished levels), built a deck, sonic cleaned the blinds, painted doors and walls. The list of things just done is huge. It is going to make move in day feel like heaven! I am finally going to be able to have a small garden. Anyone with advice on vertical gardening, send it over!

Pinterest home decor section is calling my name. I hope you are all having a perfect Friday!

End of a Journey

Today was the end of one of my big journeys. It was the last day of my student teaching. I will still observe for two more days, next Monday and Tuesday, but it really feels like being done. I have been reflecting today on some of the things I have experienced and wanted to write them down.

I felt like crying a few times today for reasons I didn't anticipate. I assumed I would feel sad because the students I have taught have been so fun to be around. The AF area is phenomenal, hence why we just bought a house there. Oh yeah, maybe I should post about that? The reasons that I started tearing up on my last day, however, was for the students I feel need me. I know that is a huge false statement. None of those students really need me, and they probably don't even like my class. 

D for example has been someone I have tried to reach from day one. He came in, sat in the back, and talked to no one. He made a few disturbing comments that made me feel that he was reaching out for help. I could have done more, but I did try to reach him each day. Sometimes he completely surprised me. One day he came in with nearly 15 missing assignments and excitedly turned them in, after I had given him a folder with all of the assignments he was missing. I just feel like he needs someone to be his advocate. Today he volunteered to read, which he never does! He struggled with nearly every word, but it meant a lot to me that he tried. 

I worry that some of my students have terrible home lives. I want to be someone that stands up for them and helps them feel important. I hear them tell small parts of their lives, such as an alcoholic mother who gets violent when she drinks so they hide her Vodca, and I crumble inside. Who is on their side? Who is going to help them grow and develop the traits of a successful person? I want to be a mother to each of them, but I am not. I am only their teacher, who is leaving next week. 

Maybe I failed at helping these students. Maybe I helped them understand how they can take control of their health. The few thank you cards I have gotten help me to focus on the positives. 

To new adventures where I can attempt to help new people! I will post about the house now:)

Today I concluded that I am a brat

This morning the husband and I made our way to the gym, intending to max on a few lifts because our gym is closed for maintenance for the next two weeks. To our dismay, they had closed two days early without any warning. We decided to try the small UVU gym.

By this time, I was feeling pretty grouchy. 

We jogged to UVU and I spotted Jord on bench press. He maxed at 285 I believe and was bummed it wasn't higher, my grouchy ness went up a notch. I don't like to see him unhappy. This is when a nice person realizes they need to filter their words.

I grabbed a bar and set up to do biceps. I started my first set and by the end realized I was not at all focused. I intended to do negatives but had done normal and sloppy curls. A well meaning, kind bystander/flirtatious guy came clear across the gym to tell me my form was going to hurt my back. Grouchy level 3 hit.

I proceeded to tell this nice man that I had a husband and a degree in health which provided me all the advice on form that I needed. The poor guy tried to explain, to which I continued being bratty. I guess I felt angry that some man felt the need to correct a "helpless" woman. He quickly left the gym, I'm sure he was embarrassed,

I am now in the bath tub with an aching back and a guilty conscience. I wish I could apologize, but I have no idea who he is or where to find him. I need to work on my bratty attitude when I get grumpy:(. I promise to do be better. 

On a happy note, I got a new phone case and my husband loves me. Even when I'm a brat.

I also finished a jewelry case I have been working on.

I'm sorry if I have ever been a brat to any of you. I fear it comes with menstration;) I am trying to work to become more Christ like, but it may take me my entire life to make progress.

I hope your weekend is happy and brat-less:)