Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I'm a BIG pretender

Have you ever heard the phrase, "fake it til' you make it"? I don't like it. To me, it has a negative connotation that you aren't being yourself. I do, however, love the meaning of the phrase. I feel like I have been mastering it lately. I think my entire life I have been over-confident in my abilities. There really isn't a challenge I am not willing to take (unless you consider a roller coaster a challenge). I think my mom is the only one who really grasps how extreme this is for me. I even convince myself that I am capable of crazy things. She always reminded me as I was growing up, that I had unrealistic expectations of myself. Now that I'm married, nobody does this for me. Jordan just assumes I know what I am doing, lol.

For the past few months I have had many roles including: Real-estate agent, as I created, edited, and submitted our contract to buy our home. Plumber, when our shower and toilets were acting funny. Landscaper, when our back yard needed some bark put down. Seamstress, making curtains and recovering chairs. Electrician, replacing a florescent light where I used a $5 track light I found at the DI which meant I had to make my own mounting bracket. Ect Ect. I had no idea how to do any of these things when I began the task.

This list is only the start, but you get the picture. It seems to be all about our new home right now, but I actually pretend to be a lot of things. I pretend to be a good wife, teacher, employee, friend ect. I feel like I never have all of the traits I need to accomplish something worth while. I do all that I can to reach my goals, and try to be persistent when things don't go my way or when I make a mistake. I have my days where I get too easily irritated at Jordan and am not a good wife, but the next day I start being a big pretender again. As I pretend, I learn and I stop having to pretend. I believe this is because Heavenly Father blesses us as we try. If we do all we can, and pretend as best we can to have good traits, we will eventually develop them.

Don't misunderstand, I know that my good traits don't even compare to those of others. Luckily, we are judged individually. Comparison steals our joy and I am trying to stop the thief.

Here is a picture of my recent project. I forgot to take a before picture, but it looked a lot like this florescent light, with a nice big crack on one side.
And after...
All it needs now is a few light bulbs. They are crazy expensive, so I ordered them on Amazon with a gift card we had. In a perfect world, all four bulbs in a fixture you buy at the DI would not be burnt out:) 1 out of 4 isn't the worst case scenario, at least. 

I hope you all are having a great day!


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